Oh, the terrible twos! This is the age when your baby begins to challenge you with the need to assert their independence. They're constantly testing boundaries to see how far they can go and they can react violently when they don't get their way.
Tantrums are the most common behavior problems of this age group. Typically tantrum-throwing starts at age two and begins to taper off at age three or four. A two-year-old tantrum is a thing to behold: screaming, crying, hitting, biting, throwing themselves on the floor -- in short anything to express their frustration that they can't have what they want. Don't let it rattle you; it's something every child goes through.
Cookies
Understand that your two-year-old isn't trying to be naughty when he screams and throws himself on the floor because you took that box of cookies away from him. He's just overwhelmed by his frustration and has no other way to express it. At this age, the best way to handle a tantrum is to distract the child. Remove the focus of the tantrum (the box of cookies) and replace it with something else. The redirection technique works best with this age group. "Let's have some juice and we'll save the cookies for later." Or, "Let's go see what sister is doing."
Sometimes nothing works and you just have to let the tantrum run its course. If the child becomes violent, (say they start throwing things, or banging their head on the floor) it may be necessary to hold them to keep them from hurting themselves or others. Once they've calmed down, move on without punishment or time outs, which aren't appropriate for a two-year-old.
If you're in the cookie aisle at the grocery store and little Jason throws a tantrum, move away from the cookies and distract him with another task. "Let's go find the potatoes we need for our dinner tonight," or "Let's go find that juice you like so much." Yelling, spanking and threatening will only exacerbate the tantrum and make things worse. Many parents are so rattled and embarrassed when their child throws a tantrum (especially in public) that they immediately give in to them. This will only reinforce the idea that throwing a tantrum gets them what they want.
Lastly, notice when and where tantrums tend to happen and avoid those situations until your child is old enough to handle them better. Let's say little Annie's in need of a nap after a morning of errands. Instead of going home and putting her to bed, you decide to stop at your local coffee house for a cup of Joe and a chat with your friend Marge. But, surprise, surprise, Annie is too tired and cranky to sit in the high chair and play with her toy while you chat. And, guess what happens? She has a meltdown, screams and cries and throws her juice on the floor. Annie's not trying to be difficult; she's just exhausted and needs to go home for a nap!
The good news is that the terrible twos don't last long! Hang in there, be patient and know that "this too shall pass"!
2 Year Old Behavior Problems - How to Discipline a 2 Year Old
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